Do Not Worry

”Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” Matthew 6:25 I've been trying to not worry. This is easier said then done. I am worried about getting Caden enrolled in full-time kindergarten (it's only half day in Kansas). My eye started twitching about 3 weeks ago which is a sign of stress. I'm also worried about losing my job due to layoffs. My eye is still twitching. I so badly would like to not worry but it's hard to do. Since Caden is going to kindergarten this year and next (June birthday) I really wanted him to get into an all day program. Especially since he is going all day at daycare it is logical. Sprint is doing three rounds of layoffs. One down 2 to go. I read this prayer and liked it so much I am going to share it. This is from a book "The Cup of Our Life" Prayer for Taking Up Crosses Jesus, happiness and struggle were constantly woven through your life. Why is it that I want the joy, the glory, the good stuff, but I don't want the sorrow, the pain, the struggle? Strengthen me and guide me when crosses such as anxiety, struggle, heartache, loneliness, sadness, time crunches, and frustrations pervade my days. Deepen my desire to be your disciple. Amen

Tae Kwon Do Test

Today we all went to Tae Kwon Do and watched Caden earn his yellow belt! He did such a good job and even he was surprised that he broke a board :) We didn't know that was part of the skills test and I think Kevin was just as nervous holding the board as Caden was breaking it. I'll try to attach a video of Caden (he's wearing the black outfit). We didn't stand where he could see us afraid that might be a distraction. Way to go big guy. . . . You did awesome today!

Google Name Meme

I've done these before but this one is a little different and fun. If you try it out, let me know! Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search. Diane needs to apply herself more conscientiously (I probably should since my company is doing layoffs) Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search. Diane looks like Barack Obama (not even close) Type in "[your name] says" in Google search. Diane says "thank you." (I do say thank you often) Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search. Diane wants fun in 2009. (now we're talking) Type in "[your name] does" in Google search. Diane does the news. (not really. I rarely watch the news) Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search. Diane hates Mondays. (I hate Wednesday's more than Mondays) Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search. Diane asks her parents for advice. (all the time) Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search Diane likes Bon Jovi (yes I do) Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search. Diane eats her vegetables. (I like to eat veggies too) Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search. Diane wears a multi print halter from Mimi Maternity (I probably say NO) Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search. Diane was arrested for corruption charges. (Huh?) Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search. Diane goes Hollywood. (have your people call my people :)

Revised Montage

Here is a link to view Ashtin's pics in a better format. Guess I should have tested before posting (I'm out of practice) :) http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=7ee2af928c91d9ab249839&skin_id=701&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

Ashtin's Montage 0 - 18 months

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Our Little Ninja

Striking a pose Serious face Caden has been taking Tae Kwon Do for about 3 weeks and is going to test for his yellow belt on Saturday. He has really good form and has learned quite a bit from the great Master J. He likes for us to watch him as a family. I have a tendency of memorizing his moves (routines) so we can practice at home. This doesn't go over to well and I've learned to just let it go. He is a very cute ninja :)

Christmas Program

Last night we watched Caden and Finley's School Christmas Program. It was very entertaining. Finley could barely see with the hat and nose. I must have shrunk her sparkling shirt when washing it because her little tummy was showing throughout the entire performance. Finley's class sang Rudolph. Caden did a fantastic job staying in character of the Grinch and signing to the music.

This picture was taken just as he spotted us in the crowd.

I'm Back

I know, I've been slacking at updating my blog. I joined Facebook (which is addicting), finished my scrapbooks through 10/31, completed Christmas shopping (mostly on-line), ordered Xmas cards, and read a terrific book (Jodi Picoult, The Pact). Therefore, I'm ready for a comeback. I am really enjoying everyones Christmas cards. I can't believe how big your kids are getting. - Does this mean we are getting older?

Trick or Treat

Halloween 2008 What a great day we had on Friday. Unfortunately I did not get many pictures because it was so warm in the day the kids did not want to wear their costumes. I actually went trick or treating with everyone this year because it was so nice outside. I love their ages right now. After about 5 houses they were ready to head home! Spidey, Cinderella and the Oklahoma State cheerleader collected a lot of loot. I need to bring some to work to give away because it is way to much for these little pumpkins. Spidey, Cinderella and OSU Cheerleader

Go Pokes!

Let's go Cowboys

Election Prayer

An Election Prayer to Mary O Most Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of Mercy, at this most critical time, we entrust the United States of America to your loving care. Most Holy Mother, we beg you to reclaim this land for the glory of your Son. Overwhelmed with the burden of the sins of our nation, we cry to you from the depths of our hearts and seek refuge in your motherly protection. Look down with mercy upon us and touch the hearts of our people. Open our minds to the great worth of human life and to the responsibilities that accompany human freedom. Free us from the falsehoods that lead to the evil of abortion and threaten the sanctity of family life. Grant our country the wisdom to proclaim that God's law is the foundation on which this nation was founded, and that He alone is the True Source of our cherished rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. O Merciful Mother, give us the courage to reject the culture of death and the strength to build a new Culture of Life. Trusting in your most powerful intercession, we pray. . . Remember O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, we fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, our Mother. To thee do we come, before thee we stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not our petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer us. Amen. Our Lady of Good Counsel Catholic Church - Kansas City, Missouri 2008

31 Reasons

Today is the last day for the 31 for 21 posts. I did not come close to posting 31 entries but who says that DS Awareness is only for the month of October. Therefore, I'm posting 31 reasons I love love love Ashtin.

1. Her great big hugs

2. Her generous smiles

3. Big blue eyes

4. watching her eye brows move when she wants something

5. when she waves

6. blows kisses

7. mimics sounds

8. puts everything in reach in the sink when fixing her hair

9. watching her "talk" to herself in the mirror

10. she sings herself to sleep

11. loves to cuddle

12. pats my back when I pat hers during a hug

13. she peeks under the crib bumper to see if I'm still in sight

14. feeds herself with the palm of her hand

15. when she shakes her head no

16. rolls and pivots to follow me from room to room

17. rests her head on my shoulder

18. the way she hold her bottle

19. belly laughs

20. brushes her babies hair

21. expresses her love of sweets when eating them

22. watching her peek around a corner

23. catch her smiling at me in the rear view mirror

24. the way she lifts her arms up to be held

25. watching her splash in the tub

26. her excitement when we read books

27. the way she plays peek a boo

28. the way she signs all done

29. watching her dance

30. her curiosity

31. her laugh

Sarah Palin's Speech about Special Needs

Get it Down 31 for 21 ARLINGTON, VA -- Governor Sarah Palin today delivered the followingremarks as prepared for delivery in Pittsburgh, PA, at 9:00 a.m. ET:Thank you all very much. I appreciate the hospitality of the people ofPittsburgh, and I'm grateful to all the groups who have joined us heretoday. The Woodlands Foundation, the Down Syndrome Center at theChildren's Hospital of Pittsburgh, Autism-link, the Children'sInstitute of Pittsburgh: Thank you for coming today. And, above all,thank you for the great work you do for the light and love you bringinto so many lives.John McCain and I have talked about the missions he'd like me to focuson should I become vice president, and our nation's energyindependence and government reform are among them. But there isanother mission that's especially close to my heart, and that is tohelp families of children with special needs. And today, we'll talkabout three policy proposals that are going to help us fulfill ourcountry's commitment to these children: more choices for parents,fully funding IDEA, and efforts to reform and refocus.Too often, even in our own day, children with special needs have beenset apart and excluded. Too often, state and federal laws add to theirchallenges, instead of removing barriers and opening new paths ofopportunity. Too often, they are made to feel that there is no placefor them in the life of our country, that they don't count or havenothing to contribute. This attitude is a grave disservice to thesebeautiful children, to their families, and to our country -- and Iwill work to change it.One of the most wonderful experiences in this campaign has been to seeall the families of children with special needs who come out torallies and events just like this. We have a bond there. We know thatchildren with special needs inspire a special love. You bring yoursons and daughters with you, because you are proud of them, as I am ofmy son.My little fella sleeps during most of these rallies, even when theyget pretty rowdy. He would be amazed to know how many folks come outto see him instead of me.When I learned that Trig would have special needs, honestly, I had toprepare my heart. At first I was scared, and Todd and I had to ask forstrength and understanding. I did a lot of praying for thatunderstanding, and strength, and to see purpose.And what's been confirmed in me is every child has something tocontribute to the world, if we give them that chance. You know thatthere are the world's standards of perfection, and then there areGod's, and these are the final measure. Every child is beautifulbefore God, and dear to Him for their own sake. And the truest measureof any society is how it treats those who are most vulnerable.As for our baby boy, Trig, for Todd and me he is only more preciousbecause he is vulnerable. In some ways, I think we stand to learn morefrom him than he does from us. When we hold Trig and care for him, wedon't feel scared anymore. We feel blessed.Of course, many other families are much further along a similar path-- including my best friend who happens to be my sister, Heather, andher 13-year old son Karcher, who has autism. Heather and I have workedon this for over a decade. Heather is an advocate for children withautism in Alaska. And as governor, I've succeeded in securingadditional funding and assistance for students with special needs. By2011, I will have tripled the funding available to these students.Heather and I have been blessed with a large, strong family network.Our family helps make sure that Trig and Karcher have what they need.But not everyone is lucky enough to have that strong network ofsupport. And the experiences of those millions of Americans point theway to better policy in the care of children with special needs.One of the most common experiences is the struggle of parents to findthe best and earliest care for their children. The law requires ourpublic schools to serve children with special needs, but often theresults fall far short of the service they need. Even worse, parentsare left with no other options, except for the few families that canafford private instruction or therapy.Many of you parents here have been through the drill: You sit downwith teachers and counselors to work out the IEP -- an individualeducation plan for your child. The school may be trying its best, butthey're overstretched. They may keep telling you that your child is"progressing well," and no extra services are required. They keeptelling you that -- but you know better.You know that your children are not getting all of the help they need,at a time when they need it most. The parents of children with specialneeds ask themselves every day if they are doing enough, if they aredoing right by their sons and daughters. And when our public schoolsystem fails to render help and equal opportunity -- and even preventsparents from seeking it elsewhere that is unacceptable.In a McCain-Palin administration, we will put the educational choicesfor special needs children in the right hands their parents'. Underreforms that I will lead as vice president, the parents and caretakersof children with physical or mental disabilities will be able to sendthat boy or girl to the school of their choice -- public or private.Under our reforms, federal funding for every special needs child willfollow that child. Some states have begun to apply this principlealready, as in Florida's McKay Scholarship program. That programallows for choices and a quality of education that should be availableto parents in every state, for every child with special needs. Thisprocess should be uncomplicated, quick, and effective -- because earlyeducation can make all the difference. No barriers of bureaucracyshould stand in the way of serving children with special needs.That's why John and I will direct the Department of Education toclarify the statute administratively. We'll make explicit that whenstate funds are portable, federal funds are fully portable. We'regoing to make sure parents have choices and children receive theeducation they deserve.Even the best public school teacher or administrator cannot rightfullytake the place of a parent in making these choices. The schools feelresponsible for the education of many children, but a parent alone isresponsible for the life of each child. And in the case of parents ofchildren with disabilities, there are enough challenges as it is, andour children will face more than enough closed doors along the way.When our sons and daughters need better education, more specializedtraining, and more individual attention, the doors of opportunityshould be open.Like John McCain, I am a believer in providing more school choice forfamilies. The responsibility for the welfare of children restsultimately with mothers and fathers, and the power to choose should betheirs as well. But this larger debate of public policy should not bepermitted to hinder the progress of special-needs students. Wheretheir lives, futures, and happiness are at stake, we should have noagenda except to ease the path they are on. And the best way to dothat is to give their parents options.In a McCain-Palin administration, we will also fully fund theIndividuals with Disabilities Education Act. To his great credit, itwas President Gerald Ford who signed the legislation that became theIDEA -- establishing new standards of respect and inclusion for youngAmericans with disabilities. From that day to this, however, thefederal government's obligations under the IDEA have not beenadequately met. And portions of IDEA funding have actually decreasedsince 2005.This is a matter of how we prioritize the money that we spend. We'vegot a three trillion dollar budget, and Congress spends some 18billion dollars a year on earmarks for political pet projects. That'smore than the shortfall to fully fund the IDEA. And where does a lotof that earmark money end up? It goes to projects having little ornothing to do with the public good -- things like fruit fly researchin Paris, France, or a public policy center named for the guy who gotthe earmark. In our administration, we're going to reform and refocus.We're going to get our federal priorities straight, and fulfill ourcountry's commitment to give every child opportunity and hope in life.For many parents of children with disabilities, the most valuablething of all is information. Early identification of a cognitive orother disorder, especially autism, can make a life-changingdifference. That's why we're going to strengthen NIH. We're going towork on long-term cures, and in the short-term, we're going to work ongiving these families better information.Once a condition is known, parents need the best and latestinformation on what to expect and how to respond. This service is alsoprovided for under the IDEA. And we will make sure that every familyhas a place to go for support and medical guidance. The existingprograms and community centers focus on school-age children --overlooking the need for assistance before school-age.But it would make a lot more sense for these centers to focus as wellon infants and toddlers. This is not only a critical stage fordiagnosis; it can also be a crucial time to prepare the family for allthat may lie ahead. Families need to know what treatments are mosteffective, and where they are available, what costs they will face,and where aid can be found, and where they can turn for the advice andsupport of others in their situation. As Todd and I and Heather know,there's no substitute for the friendship of those who have been wherewe are now.The IDEA is also intended to serve teens and young adults with specialneeds. And here, too, there is an opportunity to reform and extend thereach of federal support under the IDEA. By modernizing a current law,the Vocational Rehabilitation Act, we can better serve students withdisabilities in our high schools and community colleges. This willrequire reform by the states as well. Just as the federal governmentexpects proven results in the progress of other students, we mustrequire results as well in the achievements of students withdisabilities. And the result we will expect is simple: that everyspecial-needs student be given a chance to learn the skills to work,and enjoy the freedom to live independently if that is their choice.As families across America know, the care of special-needs childrenrequires long-term planning, and especially financial planning. Acommon practice among these families is to establish financial trusts.These are known as special needs trusts, covering years of medical andother costs, and for parents they bring invaluable comfort.Understandably, then, many families with special-needs children ordependent adults are concerned that our opponent in this electionplans to raise taxes on precisely those kinds of financialarrangements. They fear that Senator Obama's tax increase will haveserious and harmful consequences -- and they are right. The burdenthat his plan would impose upon these families is just one moreexample of how many plans can be disrupted, how many futures can beplaced at risk, and how many people can suffer when the power to taxis misused.Our opponent has an ideological commitment to higher taxes. And thoughhe makes adjustments on his tax plan pronouncements seemingly by theday, his commitment to increase taxes remains the same. John McCainand I have just the opposite commitment. We intend to lower taxes,promote growth, and protect the earnings and savings of Americanfamilies.Not long ago, I spent some time at a place in Cleveland called theMichael T. George Center, a beautiful home for adults with DownSyndrome and other disabilities. I met Michael George, too, a boy offive with Down Syndrome. Michael is a healthy, sweet, joy-filledlittle man -- and I saw in him all the things I wish for Trig in justa few years.Michael's parents, Tony and Kris George, are advocates for childrenwith special needs in their community. They are thinking far ahead, intheir own boy's life and in the lives of others. They named the centerafter their son. It's a public-private partnership. This welcomingplace -- and so many others like it -- shows the good heart ofAmerica. They are places of hope. They are the works of people whobelieve that every life matters, everyone has something to contribute,and every child should have things to look forward to, andachievements to point to with pride and joy. As many of you knowbetter than I, it can be a hard path, and yet all the more joyful andproductive when the barriers are overcome.John McCain and I have a vision in which every child is loved andcherished, and that is the spirit I want to bring to Washington. Tothe families and caregivers of special-needs children all across thiscountry, I do have a message: For years, you sought to make America amore welcoming place for your sons and daughters. And I pledge to youthat if we are elected, you will have a friend and advocate in theWhite House.Thank you all, and God bless you.

More Pics

First day home

First Pictures

Here she is just hours old under the sun lamp.

This was taken at the NICU when she moved hospitals. They wrapped her arm because she kept trying to take out her IV.

Ashtin's Birth Story Part 4

So we arrived at the hospital at 12:30AM and my doctor arrived just in time. After 20 minutes of pushing Ashtin Kate was born at 2:21AM (4 hours earlier then I was to be induced). She was beautiful and crying. I was tired and very relieved to no longer be pregnant. The nurses took Ashtin to suction and examine her while the doctor stayed with me. Everything happened so quickly that we did not have our bags OR camera in the room with us. Kevin stayed with Ashtin as she was going under an oxygen hood because of difficulties breathing. I asked the doctor why my water never broke and he explained that she dropped so soon and her head served as a cork. When she was born, the water followed. Kevin came back into my room and told me the nurses asked him to come check on me (red flag). I was trying to relax so I told him to go get our bags and camera in the car. Dr. B returned to my room and asked about Kevin's whereabouts. He pulled up a chair and told me that Ashtin looked great, scored a 9 on the Apgar, and was showing physical traits of Down Syndrome. He explained that a neonatologist would examine her in the morning and a fish test would determine if she did have Trisomy 21. The Doctor continued to explain that there are 3 different types of DS, many different levels of severity, early intervention, and that she is first a baby and will do things on her own time. He explained that medically babies breathe opposite in utero and her oxygen level had nothing to do with her traits of DS. He also said that he had stopped counting the number of babies he delivered at 500 but new that he could be close to 800 and that this was his first to have DS. I heard everything he was saying but honestly my first thought was she will never be able to have children. When asked if I had any questions, I again asked if I could have any pain relievers! Kevin walked into the room and Dr. B had just told him out in the hallway. He was near tears and experienced more emotions towards the news. The week before Ashtin was born we finally put up a stencil saying in our bathroom, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Maybe not having any meds during the delivery and feeling all the pain strengthened me. I know my feelings and reactions were quite different from others who went through this experience. I also knew that God would only give me what I could handle and Ashtin was still loved. ***Ashtin was moved to another hospital the next day with a level 3 NICU. She only stayed 3 nights and boarded in our room the last night. We are very blessed that she did not have any heart defects or feeding issues.

DS Around the World

Check out this terrific site that advocates DS all over the world.

http://www.ds2008.co.uk/page11.htm

Ashtin's Birth Story Part 3

I was scheduled to be induced on July 12th at 6:30 AM. I was dilated to a 3 for the past 2 weeks (I received my epidural with Caden at a 2). My parents were already in town to watch Caden and Finley and I remember sleeping quite a bit on the 11th. Around 10:00 PM 7/11 (Wednesday), I decided that I should take a shower and start packing in preparation for the next day. Since being induced with Caden and Finley, I really didn't know what a contraction felt like. After my shower I felt a lot of pain and took many trips to the bathroom. Kevin was already asleep. From 10:30 PM - 11:30 PM I attempted to "time" the contractions but couldn't remember for the life of me if it was start to stop or start to the next contraction. Around 11:30PM I decided that if I was timing the contractions correctly then they were 7 minutes apart. However, I really couldn't find a break from contraction to contraction. I woke Kevin up and told him to call the doctor (Yes, he did ask me for the number). Dr. B told us to meet him at the hospital and said "babies usually have a plan of their own." Drive to the hospital Doesn't every guy have a vision of racing to the hospital? We changed clothes and I went downstairs while holding my stomach hunched over during contractions. I waited and waited but Kevin was not coming. I opened the garage door and again hunched over during contractions started to get into the car. I honked the horn about 2 times at him and then he arrived. He told me that he woke my mom up to tell her that we were leaving so she would listen for the kids. I reminded him that my mom told us each night to not wake her up but just open up the door as a signal that we left. After voicing my frustration at him he had to go back into the house to get the keys. My bad mood of pregnancy was about to peak. During the drive he not only took the long route but also sat there at stop lights when it was after midnight and no cars in site. We checked in at the ER while I was still having active contractions. They asked so many questions and I couldn't understand why because I had completed all of the pre-registration paperwork. I was wheeled up to Labor and Delivery and my first announcement was that I wanted an epidural. The nurses worked quickly getting us to a room and changed. I knew that IF my water broke then I was really close to being in labor. I was in so much pain and knew from previous deliveries that I would need two bags of saline prior to receiving my epidural. After stating my knowledge of this several times one nurse was putting the Velcro baby monitor belt on me while the other was trying to get an IV started in between contractions. I was dilated to a 5. The nurse kept asking me questions again (example: birth weight of other kids, 1st date of last period - seriously was this necessary?) I refused to get the IV through my hand because it still ached from 2 years prior with Finley's delivery. I must have looked like a beached whale. I was on my right side with the bed up to high by my head and hanging on to the bed rail trying to get through the contractions. As irritated as could be I was yelling at the nurse about speeding up my epidural. She told me "mam, this is not a quick process as we have to get your blood work returned before I can receive an epidural." Kevin told me later that she was trying to hurry and put a blood pressure around the bag of saline to speed it along. I was offered Stadol which I do not like and got really loopy with Caden. I said to only give me half a dose. This was a mistake. Now I was dizzy, still having the contractions, and was vomiting. The room was about to get busy when I then announced that I felt like I had to push. I was now dilated to a 10 fully effaced baby crowned and NO EPIDURAL. I panicked. I asked for the other dose of Stadol, a spinal block, and gas. Another gal walked into the room in different color scrubs. I asked, "who are you." She was the OB on call as my doctor had not arrived. I pleaded with her to give me something which she said we can't because the baby may not tolerate the drugs. WHAT, I really did not care about the baby during the pain that I was feeling. They got me into a more comfortable position and told me that pushing would be the only way to end the pain. To be continued. . .

Tribute to DS Awareness Month

Check out this link

http://www.parenting.com/gallery/Baby/A-Special-Joy-20-Babies-With-Down-Syndrome

Do you see Ashtin on Gallery 20 picture 4?

Bad Experience

Since DH initiated for us to go the game, I suggested that he secure a sitter since this would be a 12 hour job. There are two girls that work at the daycare which we use on a regular basis. Well, he asked another girl that we didn't know that well. Here's a run down of events: 1. She arrived 30 minutes late 2. No time to give her the detailed instructions 3. Didn't know her last name! 4. Received a call from her 10 minutes after the bus left asking if there was anyway that she could take the kids and go to the store for a soda (enough said) 5. When we returned home the house was NOT picked up. 6. Went downstairs to find that the no lids were returned to the play dough. 7. Sat down on the couch to find 10 fruit chew wrappers tucked between the couch cushions 8. Still didn't know her last name! 9. Received a total of 8 phone calls/text messages from sitter throughout the evening. 10. LEARNED a lesson the hard way!

ORANGE POWER

As you can tell, I'm attempting to play catch up on blogging. On October 11th, Kevin and I loaded a chartered bus with Stillwater National Bank and headed to Columbia for the OSU/MU game. We sported our orange and enjoyed the company. The game was great too since we won the game. Here are some pictures. me and DH We really had to climb over a fence in order to get to the stadium. The ladder was not there after the game. Geez, what's up with that? Footage of the game, "Let's go cowboys!"